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Facilitator Guidelines and Steps: Mediated or Cooperative Conflict Management*

Prepared by Vicki Stasch, Management Consultant

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The following process can be used by a third party facilitator or by two individuals:

Each person must agree, “to work fairly and cooperatively” and then follow the steps below.

  1. No interrupting.
  2. One person talks while the other listens. The listener then restates what they heard.
  3. Each must use “I” not “you” and no accusation language.

Steps for Cooperative Resolution Stated by Facilitator then Followed One at a Time.

  1. Ask what happened? Restate. Repeat for the other person.
  2. How do/did you feel? Restate. Repeat for the other person.
  3. Ask each person: “What can you (we) do to resolve this?” “Is that ok with you?”
  4. Summarize: Ask “ Is the problem resolved?”
  5. Ask each person: “What could you do differently next time?”
  6. Write an agreement, give copy to each person and congratulate.
  7. Set and participate in a follow-up meeting.

*Adapted from the Fresno Pacific University Center for Peacemaking and Conflict Studies

Leadership Quote

If you want the full support of people, you must get them into the act, the sooner the better. Everyone must help paddle the canoe.